


(never) to be mine

by reddishblue



Series: klance month 2k19 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt & Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Light Angst, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Unrequited Soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 05:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17781482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddishblue/pseuds/reddishblue
Summary: Everyone has a soulmate.At least everyone was supposed to have one.Keith Kogane was born markless.Keith doesn't really care. It's not like he needs one anyway. He has his knife and Shiro. What more sould he need?That is until he meets Lance for the first time.—In which Keith is markless and falls in love with Lance.The problem is: Lance is so fixate on his soulmate.





	(never) to be mine

**Author's Note:**

> Day 14: Soulmates!
> 
> Yeah I'm kinda sick of all those mutually requited soulmates because to me, you can choose whoever you want to be with without someone or some cosmic shit told you to.
> 
> Anyway I'm not even sure if this is angst but I'll just add the tags.
> 
> Enjoy!

**soulmate**

_/ˈsōl ˌmāt/_ **(noun)**

a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner

-

In a world where soulmates exist, true loves are easy to find. Check left and right and you'll see couples everywhere.

Soulmates. Someone(s) that the universe think would be perfect for you. They are usually find using a soulmark.

Not everyone has the same soulmarks however, there are millions of soulmarks in the universe. From the simple name tattoo to the hardest ones like last words tattoo.

Everyone has a soulmate.

At least everyone was supposed to have one.

Keith Kogane was born markless.

It wasn't rare then, but it was still uncommon. No one knows the reason behind it, they just simply move on with it as more people has soulmarks then not.

Keith doesn't really care. It's not like he needs one anyway. He has his knife and Shiro. What more sould he need?

That is until he meets Lance for the first time.

It was during November, when all the college kids starts to write their wills and makes their deathbed. Keith is drowning himself on essays. Naturally, instead of doing it as soon as possible, he procrastinates until the last week.

When Matt sees Keith's dying self, writing and deleting words from his computer, he grabs the latter and drives him to the Altea Café.

"Where are you taking me, Holt?" Keith asks, his eyes still trained to the computer at his lap. He's been rereading the same paragraph for thirty minutes since he keeps on zoning out.

Matt replies, "Altea. You and I need some coffees." his voice lack any emotion that he usually have and Keith can assumes that Matt is dead inside as well. "Also because I need a friend discount and my little sister leaves me for her squad and I can't find Shiro anywhere."

Keith prays for Shiro's sanity. He is probably crying somewhere while editing his essays. Eh, it was Shiro's fault anyway.

The ride to the café was short and by the time they're there, the place isn't packed at all (thank god, Keith didn't think that he could stand this place if there is any of those love-dovey soulmate couple) and Keith decides to place their laptops on one of the table near the window as Matt lines up.

Suddenly Matt shouts, "Keith! Come here for a sec!" and Keith dutily follows, but not before sighing at his friend's lack of shame and humiliation. However it seems like he bumps into something.

Or rather, someone.

Keith feels a cold wer liquid trickles from his chest. He looks down to see a black stain on his gray shirt. What the fuck, the one day he decides not to wear black and the universe gives him this?

The fucking universe is homophobic, pass it the fuck on.

"Oy, Mullet!" the person holding the cup of coffee, that has spilled to his shirt shouts, "watch where you're fucking going!" the man scowls at him, the blue eyes shines with irritation and bags were under his eyes.

Keith glares at the other male, his eyes pierced as the shirt gets uncomfortable in the cold, "Excuse me? You were the one who wasn't paying attention!"

"You asshole, you wasted my money!" the man growls at him. Keith's eyes twitches at the man's anger.

"You spilled it on me!" Keith pointed at his dark-stained shirt. He scowls and pulled the brunette's collar.

The other male did the same, "Whatever, you're buying me a new one!" the asshole has some nerve! He did nothing wrong!

"It's your fault!" Keith cries out and he could feel the tears of frustration coming out of his eyes.

Suddenly a hunk man gets into the middle of them, pushing them both apart.

"Woah, woah, woah," he says softly, "easy there, Lance." The asshole -- Lance, calms down a bit but he still glares at Keith. "I'm sorry for my friend's... impatience, he's just frustrated." the large man apologized.

Keith eyes the large man warily. He has a hunky figure, long, black hair and big, brown eyes. His skin is the color of warm chocolate and even though he looks tough Keith could sense that he's a softie. "No problem." he replies stiffly, still on a glaring contest with Lance.

Another person pipes in, holding two coffee cups, she passed the first one to Lance before raising her eyebrow at him, "Seriously, Lance?" She has a short, brown hair that's chops messily and a large, brown eyes that's hidden with an equally big glasses. Also she's... short and reminds Keith of someone he knows.

"Shut up, you know I'm a slut for coffee." Lance pouts and sips the cup.

Now that his eyes are no longer clouded with anger, Keith scans the boy.

He has bright blue eyes and dark, mocha skin that looks soft even in the cold days. A tousled brown hair and a very, very long fingers and legs.

Okay what the fuck, away sexual frustration, shoo! He probably has a soulmate anyway!

But Keith could admit that Lance is cute. And kinda handsome.

Matt barges in then, "Ey, Keefers, here's your order that you never got to told me!" he handed Keith the cup and gasps when he sees the girl besides Lance, "Katie? The fuck you doing here?"

"Matt? I thought you were making your funeral party!"

Well okay then, that makes sense.

-

Since the reveal of the Holt siblings, it seems like Keith couldn't escape from Lance.

Everytime he hangs out with Matt, somehow Lance is always there, mullet puns ready in his mouth.

And everytime they both meet, they always argue. About colors, tastes, music, clothes, and of course, about Keith's hairstyle.

("You seriously need to cut that ugly thing you called hair, mullet."

"For the last time, it's not a mullet! Besides, it isn't that bad, my mom has a rattail!"

"Do you know how fucked up those words you just say--")

It isn't as bad as the first time they actually meet. This one is fun, light and teasing. Keith could work with that no problem. He didn't mind Lance's teasing and bickering. Keith likes it very much.

Except there is one (1) problem.

Soulmates.

Ugh, he hated that word so much.

It seems like everytime the squad (yes, Keith is calling the squad now, shut up!) talks about anything remotely close to romance, they always go to the soulmarks.

Actually he didn't mind that, Keith doesn't really care if anyone knows he's markless, never does and never will. Shiro was accepting, Matt was accepting, he's sure that the others are also accepting.

It's just the way Lance talks about his that makes Keith uncomfortable.

"My soulmate would be the prettiest and cutest person ever! They would slam all of your soulmates to boot!" Lance announces to them (Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Keith and Shiro).

"Guess opposite do attract then." Pidge comments dryly and high-fives a sniggering Hunk. Lance lets out an offended gasp and for Pidge to take back her words. Matt laughs at their display and Shiro just smiles fondly and his soulmark, a beautiful wing tattoo on his left arm.

Shiro and Matt then leaves them to go on their class, while the trio continues to bicker.

Keith just blinks at them dumbly, ignoring the churning feeling in his stomach. He stares at Lance and tilts his head, humming thoughtfully.

Lance sensed his gaze on him and must have thought that Keith is insulting him. He glares, "What? Got something to say, mullet?" his tone is a bit defensive but Keith ignores that.

"What's your soulmark?" Keith asks. Lance and Hunk looks momentarily surprised while Pidge looks amused.

"Invisible tattoo that glows when you see them." Lance says proudly, Keith raises his eyebrow, that must be a rare one.

Hunk adds, "Mine is a timer!" he unrolls his fingergloves to reveal the timer going down each second that's painted on his skin.

"Mine is a name tattoo but I don't really care about soulmates so, yeah." Pidge shrugs as she sees her wrist.

Keith nods, "Cool."

The three of them then stares at Keith patiently. Pidge is the one who breaks their silence, "Well?"

"... Well what?" Keith asks, playing dumb.

"Your soulmark, dude. Tell us about your soulmark so we can find you a soulmate that makes your little head blush and squeals like a teenager again." Lance says, leaning back on his chair and Hunk nods in agreement.

Keith laughs at Lance's words, "Lance, you idiot walnut. I don't have one." he says like it's a joke.

As if rehearsed, Lance falls of his chair and Hunk chokes on his saliva, Pidge's eyes just widens in disbelief.

Keith is enjoying their reaction very much.

Hunk is the first one to finally calms himself from the trainwreck conversation, "First of all, please don't ever say that casually ever again. I was not prepared physically and mentally. Second of all, I am so sorry we were being so insensitive!"

"Yeah we didn't know your soulmate died!" Lance says, moving his limbs like a bird.

Keith frowns again, "He didn't? I mean how could someone that doesn't exist be alive? I'm markless." as if obvious and the trio's jaw drops.

"What?" Lance gasps dramatically, hitting his palms onto the table as Hunk chokes on his spit again.

Pdige stares at Keith tiredly, "Keith, just know that we still very much love you and like, care wbout you. But can you not do it so casually next time?" Keith just shrugs. It seems like the subject is okay for them.

After that they didn't talk about the soulmarks much around him, thinking that Keith would feel left out, and Keith feels happy at their respect on his privacy.

One problem is gone.

-

"-- and they would be the prettiest bitch I have ever seen in my -- oh shit, sorry dude. I didn't mean to rant to you about my soulmate." Lance stops his blabbering when he notices something on Keith's face, looking apologetic.

Keith blinks in surprise, "It's fine." To be honest, he's been zoning in and out of the conversation, not really focusing on Lance's words.

"Really? Cuz you look kinda sad." Lance points out. Now that he mention it, Keith could feel his eyebrows scrunch into a frown and his lips curled downwards.

Wonder why.

"Yeah, I'm sorry that I kinda blabber a lot about my soulmate since I've always wanted to meet them in my life and I --" Lance blabbers on and Keith watches him amusingly. Maybe he should just ignore the subject and nod along.

But seeing Lance's worrying gaze and apologize Keith decides that maybe instead of doing that, he should speak a few truths about his soulmate-less life.

"It's not really that. I think it's good at how passionate you are of your soulmate. I just kinda wish there was actually someone like that for me." Keith blurts out before hissing internally.

Woah, now that's way too truthful. It hits too close to home. The old insecurity of Keith that many of his past classmate has used against him. Keith waits for Lance to mock his stupid wish. Or maybe the pitying looks he sees the teachers and adults used to give him.

Instead of doing anything near that, Lance gives him a sympathetic look, "Keith," he clamps Keith's pale hand comfortingly, "maybe the universe think you don't have a soulmate. But fuck that, the universe isn't the boss of you! You can decide it for your own and find some handsome guy to be with!

"The Keith that I know is so stubborn he would never stop until he reaches his goal. The Keith that I know doesn't listen to anyone, and not even the universe. The Keith that I know makes his own decision and flies with it." he pats Keith's hand awkwardly and the black-haired teen laughs slightly at the display.

"Thanks." Keith smiles back, maybe Lance isn't so bad after all.

-

Sometimes Keith wishes to have a soulmate like Lance.

The way he talks about his, as if he already meets them and falls in love with them.

The way Lance says that he would cherish and love them.

The way Lance's face becomes dreamy everytime he talks about them, imagining what they would look like.

Keith also sometimes wishes that Lance is his soulmate.

-

"And then my soulmate would be very beautiful and I would totally love them! They deserve the world and more." Lance proudly announced at the whole table. Pidge rolls her eyes and Hunk shakes his head, laughing at Lance's antics.

"Lance never shuts up about his soulmate, huh?" Shiro smiles in amusement at the Cuban, who are fighting with Matt about the beauty of science versus love.

"Yeah," Keith agrees, kinda wish he does.

"Can you imagine what would happen when he met them? I bet he won't stop talking about them for forever!" Shiro laughs and Keith stares at Lance forlornly.

"Yeah." And the weird churning feeling comes back again at the thought.

Keith's eyes widen at the implication.

Is he... _jealous?_

-  
  
Despite all of Shiro's teasing about Keith sometimes being an oblivous fuck, he knows his feelings well and is easy to recognized whatever he's feeling. He's not stupid, Keith has knows how to differentiate his feelings very well.

And he knows what he feels towards Lance.

That stupid butterfly in his stomach, the loud beating of his heart and getting riled up at soft touches; it can only mean one thing.

Keith has a crush on Lance.

Goddamit Keith, of all people in this fucked up world, why oh why does it have to be Lance?

Lance, who sometimes flirts with him but sometimes be a dudebro at him.

Lance, who's insecure and trusted Keith enough to see his sadness and finds comforts in him.

Lance, who's jokes lights up Keith's world and makes him feels happy, calm and really safe whenever he's around.

Lance, who's hugs are one of the best one he receives and the one who won't hesitate to stop him from doing impulsive things.

Lance, who talks and talks about his soulmate that he hasn't meet yet. Who speaks about his soulmate as if they hung the stars to the sky and always look dreamy whenever he imagined them?

Lance, who is too perfect for him. Lance, who will soon meet his soulmate and realizes that Keith is just an inferior good compared to his soulmate, who would look as beautiful as Lance.

Why?

_Why?_

-

One night, Lance knocks his door.

Keith wakes up blearily and was about to yell at him when he notice the look on Lance's face and the dried marks on his cheeks. There's soft hiccups and his breathing is ragged. Immediately Keith pulls Lance in and they sits on the comfortable, ugly couch.

"Lance," Keith asks when Lance's breath finally calms down, "what's wrong?" he looks at the unusually quiet male. Keith wishes he could cup Lance's face and remove the tears on his cheeks and kiss his forehead reassuringly but--

He can't. Not now and probably not ever. Because those moments, those affectionate, not to mention intimate moments, was for Lance and his soulmate.

Not Keith.

He instead wait patiently for Lance to form his thoughts and words. Like a friend he was supposed to be.

"Keith," Lance finally says after a long silent moment, "do you think my soulmate would love me?" the brunette motion himself with his hands, "the stupid, dumb, dramatic me?"

"Why are you asking me that?" Keith croaks. Oh no, there is no way Keith could answer this without bringing his romantic thoughts of Lance. But Lance seems so sad, so dull. He didn't like that.

Lance rubs his puffy eye and sniffles softly, "It's just- sometimes I wish I was as smart as Pidge or as kind and talented as Hunk or even as pretty as you and I don't know. Sometimes I just thought that maybe, maybe they wouldn't love me.

"And I know I talked a lot about my soulmark and soulmate. But honestly? I don't really care about this soulmate business. I just... I just like the idea of someone actually liking me, you know? I mean, I know there's a chance where they didn't like me back, but the idea of it is... nice." Lance chuckles patheticaly, unknowing of Keith's train of thoughts.

He's insecure, Keith realized, that's why he always brings up about his soulmate whenever someone said something close about it. Lance has always said about his soulmate on and on about how much he would love them, but never about how they would love him.

Keith sits next to the Cuban, frozen at the realization. How could he missed this? But judging from Lance's wrecked look, it seems that he's been bottling this for a long time and hides it with his happy-go-luckyness.

He needs to help him. Keith can't stand the thought of Lance being discouraged at meeting his soulmate, the one person he's been talking about crazily to Keith. Lance shouldn't feel like this. Not when he's the closest person Keith has actually friended with (other than Shiro), not when he himself didn't realize his own worth.

No matter how much it'll hurt Keith's heart.

So Keith speaks up. He tells Lance what he thinks of him genuinely.

"Lance. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a soulmate." Keith touches the aforementioned boy's knee, "You're kind, you helped Pidge to carry her stuff and gives massages to Hunk whenever he's tired. You're smart in your own way and you're talented as fuck, Lance. I've seen you before, and you did amazing," Lance looks surprised at Keith, as if he thought that Keith would never say that to him. He looks close to crying again, eyes shining with a water border. Keith immediately feels shy and flustered at the intimacy of the moment, and flushed at the next thing he says, "And uh, I guess you're pretty too."

"You guess?" Lance teases, but his voice doesn't match the joyful expression on his face. His voice cracks slightly.

Keith concedes, face going even redder, "Okay fine, maybe you're kinda pretty -- oof!" Suddenly, he's being enveloped by strong, warm arms around his neck, face smushed on his shoulder and he could feel the dampness on it.

"Thanks man." Lance laughs watery as Keith hugs him back, still feeling slightly flustered.

Keith replies, "No problem." no problem at all. He close his eyes and relishes in the feeling of Lance's hug.

-

_"I don't really care about this soulmate business. I just... I just like the idea of someone actually liking me, you know?"_

Keith tries not to get his hopes up.

Not too high. Not when they're friends and it could ruin their friendship forever.

But keyword being 'tries' and that night he dreams of him being Lance's soulmate, getting together happily.

-

A few months went by and Lance and Keith gets closer than ever. Since Hunk's been hanging out with Pidge, and Matt is busy matchmaking Shiro with some guy name Adam or Curtis or something, they've been staying close to each other.

("So am I your second choice?" Keith asks teasingly.

"Of course not," Lance sounds offended at the idea, "I just like hanging out with you. So why can't I just do that?" He grins toothily at Keith, there was a slight tint of dark hue on Lance's cheeks but it's probably some lighting trick.

The genuine reply isn't doing good to his gay heart. So does the cute grin.)

They go to cafés together instead of being with the gang, Lance starts to walk with Keith to his next class and he's been helping Keith with anything whatsoever.

It's nice. It feels very nice, having his crush's attention and care on you feels very very nice. So damn fucking nice.

They also have been studying in places together nowadays. Like now;

Keith hums quietly, eyes skimming at the book that he's currently reading. He frowns when a few strands fall to his face and swats it away.

And then the same strands falls yet again.

Swat.

And again.

Swat.

And again.

Keith scowls at the offending piece of hair and blows it off his face. But it still falls back to his face.

An irritated sighs come from beside Keith and a voice says, "Hold on, Mullet."

And then someone -- Lance, only Lance calls him Mullet -- pushes his hands against Keith's head and starts to... tie it up?

"Lance?" the brunette hums questioningly, "what are you doing?"

"Well," Lance starts as he takes a handful of Keith's dark hair gently, "I saw your dumb ass getting annoyed at your hair that keeps on going to your face. And unlike some people who has a long hair, I have a hairtie and I, the oh so amazing Lancey Lance, decides to help the damsel in distress." Keith could feel Lance's smirk.

And yeah, maybe he does need to invest for some hairtie now that his hair is going past his shoulder but Keith's been busy with his exams, life and with his stupid crush on Lance and --

Stupid Lance just have to fucking help him and tie his hair and his hands are so gentle and fuck it feels so good and Keith likes it so much and --

Keith closes his eyes and sighs pleasantly, indulging on his stupid crush. It's not like he's doing something bad.

Lance swoops his hair into the band, "And... there," Keith hears him takes a few steps back to inspect his hair. "Well, it's good enough for your ugly mullet." He grins as he steps forward again to cups Keith's cheeks to his hands (fuckfuckfuck not now gay thoughts, don't you dare to even think about it!) and cocks his head.

Keith smiles in gratitude, ignoring his red blush and looks up to Lance's beautiful, blue sky eyes, "Thanks, Lance." He grasps the hand on his cheek gratefully.

And then something weird happens to Lance's face. It suddenly scrunches and his face turns darker, and he looks...

Lance looks miserable.

"Lance...?" Keith lets go of the hand he's holding and removes Lance's hands gently, "are you okay?"

"Okay? Yeah! I'm okay! Very very okay!" Lance laughs awkwardly, his face going red. Keith stares at him skeptically.

"Are you sure?" the black-haired man asks, Lance is acting super weird.

Lance nods vigorously, trying and failing to look or act convincing, making Keith even more suspicious, "Yeah, dude! I'm being crystal queer -- I mean clear! Haha, I gotta ga -- I mean go! I'm gonna go, bye!" Lance flusteredly fingerguns out of the library, knocking some of the books. Lance stonily look at the books that's scattered on the floor and practically zooms out of the room, the door quietly closed (because Lance is respectful like that). He doesn't come back to take his belingings at all.

Keith stares at the door weirdly. What the fuck just happen?

-

And so weeks went by with Keith never seeing Lance at all.

Not a single brown hair or ugly jacket on sight.

Did he do something wrong? He knows that Lance wasn't ignoring the others since Keith sees their snapchats and instagram filled with the Cuban.

Was it something he had said? Or something he did? Did Keith made things so weird at the library? Lance looks like he wished he was dead then.

Keith sighs forlornly, maybe he kinda have ruined it. Great. The next time he sees Lance, he'll make sure to aplogize for it and faked his dead and move town.

Somehow, the universe listens to him (which is a first) and Keith bumps into Lance.

"Uh," Keith says confusedly. Lance seems to look so done and walks to the opposite side of where he was supposed to go. Keith gasps,"wa-wait, Lance!" he stutters and somehow managed to grab Lance's green jacket's sleeve, "Lance!"

Lance looks nervously at Keith, practically sweating bullets, "What's up, buddy? Look, I'm in a rush right now and --," he motions at some sort of path using his thumb but Keith cuts him off.

"Oh shut the fuck up Lance I know you've been ignoring me!" He accused, grabbing the cloth harder when Lance tries to tugs it away from his palm. A pointing finger comes to Lance's face and the male stutteres nervously.

"Uh, Keith, I --," Lance tries to reason but Keith cuts him off again by putting his palm against the brunette's lips. He needs to say it. For the sake of their friendship. He takes a deep breath and makes up his mind.

He's gonna do it.

"And- And I'm sorry, okay?" Keith bits out. Lance looks flabbergasted at the black-haired man.

"... What?" his voice is muffled and Keith ignores it and continues his speech instead.

"I'm sorry. I made it weird back then at the library and I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable and --," Keith gasps when Lance takes his palm off the latter's mouth by the wrist.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cool your jets, cowboy," Lance says and Keith scowls at the Texan jab, "you didn't make me uncomfortable." he reassures and lets go of Keith's wrist.

"Seriously, Lance? Your face looks like you want to die back then." Keith frowns at Lance in disbelief. He tries to replicate Lance's look back in the library and shows him.

"I- I do not look like that!" Lance squeaks angrily, "And no, you didn't. It wasn't your fault at all. It was all me," he rubs the back of his neck and Keith cocks his head, "I was... going through things that I need to make sure, you know?" he elaborates and Keith scowls, no, Lance, he didn't know. But he lets it go and asks Lance another question.

"And what was it about that you need to stay away from me?" at that Lance just gulps and looks away from Keith.

"Just something." He mumbles and intently looks at the dent on the floor. His face is red from the tips of his ears to his neck that Keith finds absolutely adorable. And he sounds so embarrassed and... so flustered around Keith.

Unwillingly, the hope Keith has buried so deep blossoms again.

Maybe, Lance likes him?

-

After that, there was some weird flirting between the two of them.

At first, Keith doesn't notice it. Not really. It was normal of Lance to buy him drinks and walk with him around the campus, his hand looping over Keith's shoulder. It was normal for Lance to jokes and laughs with Keith and shares him many informations about his family od anything about his life.

But it wasn't normal for Lance to stare at Keith when he thought he wasn't looking, staring so intently at him as if trying to memorize each and every single thing about him, even the smallest detail of him. It wasn't normal for Lance to gradually stop talking about his soulmate and keeps on glancing at Keith everytime the soulmate word was out in the air. It wasn't normal for Lance to invite him to frat parties, to text him good mornings and nights, to call him at night to talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

Keith notices it all. And the giddiness within him makes him smile at even the thought of it. He squeals into his pillow like a teenager all over again everytime he receives a message from Lance.

His heart beats so hard around Lance and the butterflies in his stomach turns into a hummingbird, giving him weird sensations that always vibrates through his whole body.

Shiro also notices the change.

"You know, Lance is getting closer with you nowadays." They're having a coffee lunch together at the Altea Café and the comment almost made Keith spits his tea.

"What!" Keith is about to deny it when he remembers the past few weeks of Lance's attention on him -- along with Shiro's pointed looks that he oh so ignored for Lance -- and sighs defeatedly.

Shiro smiles at him playfully, "Methinks someone's crushing." He shoves Keith's shoulder suggestively.

"Methinks you're fucking wrong." Keith retorts back and cringes when Shiro laughs, with the old man type of laugh.

"On a serious note, however," Shiro suddenly turns serious and Keith almost had a shock at how quick the other man is at changing the mood, "I think you shouldn't date him yet." Especially since Lance hasn't found his soulmate yet hungs in the air.

Keith sighs and smiles sadly at Shiro, "I know, Shiro."

But that doesn't stop him from feeling the thrill and happiness whenever Lance's around.

Doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt. But the hope of Lance liking him, of Lance prefering Keith over his soulmate is flying very high, too high for his own good.

And Keith hopes.

Keith would take every single chance he has right now so that when Lance finally found his soulmate, he could basks in the memory of all these.

-

Alas, every good things comes to an end.

And for Keith, it was today.

Hunk, Lance and Keith are in the Altea Café, doing their essays for their class. Hunk and Lance are debating about whether the latter's jacket is green or brown. Keith tunes them out as they wait for their drinks.

Finally their drinks come, the young waitress smiles at them politely and puts them on the table. Keith nods in acknowledgement as his other companions are too deep into their argument.

"Lance, it's obviously green? I mean, the color is the same as dead grasses!" Hunk scowls and points at the offending jacket.

"I told you, Hunk, it's fucking brown!" Lance raises his hands into the air and accidentally touches the waitress. She gasps in surprise and Keith raises his head from his laptop. Lance's eyes widen, "Oh shit, sorry!" and he turns his head to see the girl.

He regrets taking his eyes off the laptop because right then the nightmare of his life happens.

There are V-shaped marks on both of their cheekbones. The girl's glows pink and Lance's glows blue. They both stare at each other in shock and gape at the mark.

Oh no. Keith eyes widens in horror, it's happening.

He can't tear his eyes away from the newly-known soulmates and Keith could feel that Hunk's eyes are on Lance as well.

The girl makes a surprised noise when the glow stops and the mark disappear from their dark skin, before she smiles, "Hey."

Lance mirrors her smile, "Hey," he eyes the tag on her clothes, "Allura." He wiggles his eyebrows playfully and Allura giggles at it. Hunk coos at the display.

Allura, Keith closes his eyes and grits his teeth quietly, Lance says her name as if he's already in love with her.

"Can I have your name and number?" Allura smiles kindly at Lance, almost shy.

Lance's smile widens, turning into a huge grin, "Y-Yeah! Sure!" he tears a paper from his book and hastily writes his number. "The name's Lance, by the way." he winks as Allura takes the paper from him.

"Well, Lance," Allura smirks (and is Keith imagining it or did Allura just say it as 'Lonce'?), "I'll call you." and she winks as she leaves their table.

As soon as the white-haired girl leaves, Hunk barrels at Lance, shaking the Cuban in giddyness, "You found your soulmate!" Keith watches the best friends giggles and smiles from ear to ear.

"I know!" Lance laughs, face lights up like a child during Christmas, "she's so pretty and kind!" he hugs Hunk out of happiness.

Keith watches them both hugging each other. He feels left out.

Now he's the only one with no soulmate.

No, Keith is used to that feeling, has been feeling it since the day he was born. No. Jealousy doesn't feel this hurtful, this feeling stabs him the chest, right through the heart.

This feeling is ...

Some sort of sadness.

Sad that Lance has a soulmate, that he founds a soulmate and she's beautiful, kind, and polite and ...

It wasn't him.

Keith has thought that even though he doesn't have a soulmate or if Lance found his soulmate, maybe the blue-eyed boy will choose him.

And now, seeing Lance's soulmate, Keith isn't going to be able to win from her. She's a goddess.

Keith closes his eyes, imagining Lance and Allura's future. They would go on a date, realizes that they're compatible, marry each other and have kids, each with beautiful blue eyes that belongs to Lance or Allura.

They're perfect for each other and Keith accepts that. Because Lance is too good, too perfect for him.

He opens his eyes again and he sees Hunk and Lance's happy chatters, smiling and Keith thinks that if he focused enough he could see the marks on the Cuban's cheeks. Lance's eyes crinkles because of his big grin and Keith smiles as he sees them.

Because Lance looks so happy right now, when he finally found Allura. And to Keith, as long as Lance is happy, he's happy as well.

So Keith opens his mouth and gives Lance a genuine smile, albeit sad, "I'm happy for you."

Lance and Hunk stares at Keith before he's being hugged by Lance.

"Thanks, man." Lance's voice is muffled from his shoulder.

Keith sighs happily in Lance's arms. "No problem." He'll be fine. Lance is happy and so will he.

-

In their groupchat, everyone congrats Lance.

Keith's eyes begins to water as he sees it. Shiro calls him that night and the dam broke.

Later he found out the feeling was heartbreak.

-

Unintentionally, Keith begins to avoid Lance.

He ignores the texts he receive from Lance (and also Hunk and Pidge because they're best friends). Keith changes his routine in hopes that he wouldn't cross any of them.

Gradually Lance's texts becomes lesser and lesser until it become non-existent. Keith ignored his hurt, this is what he asked for, afterall. He doesn't come across to Lance and it feels...

Empty.

Sad.

Lonesome.

Exactly how he wanted.

On the third day of it, Shiro barges into his apartment and stays over. Keith didn't thought too much about it until at night, where Shiro says, "Keith, I know you're trying to move on, but you shouldn't ignore them. They're your friends and they're worried about you."

Keith feels a pang of guilt in his chest and he sighs, "I know." but he can't face any of them yet, he can't face Lance yet. Seeing Lance near with Allura, him talking about the white-haired beauty. It's too much. "Just- Just give me time. Please?"

Shiro pats him sympathetically and gives him exactly that.

-

In the end it doesn't seems like what Keith wanted matters because Lance took the matters into his own hands.

Keith gets into his apartment, sighing in relief as he takes off his shoes. Dropping his bags to the floor, he walks to his room --

\-- Only to find Lance sitting on his couch. Staring at Keith.

Keith's eyes widen and he stands back on instinct, "Jesus fucking Christ!" he touches his rapidly beating heart, "what the fuck, Lance?"

Lance scowls at Keith, his brows furrowed and a serious look is on his face, "Don't you 'what the fuck' me. What the fuck is wrong with you?" there's venom in his words and Keith winces at the tone.

"I wasn't the one who breaks into someone's apartment!" Keith screeches. The guilt strikes deep in him when he sees Lance's upset and angry expression.

"And I wasn't the one who avoids his friends as if I was suddenly gone from this world!" Lance says harshly, standing up and starts to walk towards Keith.

Keith takes a step back, "Lance...," and the other male takes a step front. It happens over and over until Keith's back hits the wall and Lance is a few feet away from him.

"Look. I- We miss you okay? Hunk misses you, Pidge misses you," the brunette's eyes goes downcast, "I miss you."

Keith's eyes widens and guilt strikes in his chest again, "Lance...,"

"So just tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it." Lance lifts his head and glares at Keith when the latter tries to deny it, "don't you dare to deny it, asshole. I know I did something. You've been ignoring us since I met Allura --," Lance frowns, "wait did something happens between you and Allura?"

Allura. He says Allura, not his soulmate. Keith shakes his head, "No- nothing's wrong, Lance." He doesn't even sound convincing on his own ears, he tries to shift to the left but Lance's arms cages him on both sides, effectively blocking his way out.

"But there is something with Allura right?" Lance's eyes pierces through his soul, and Keith finds himself harder to deny the truth. He sighs in defeat and nods, "Yes."

Lance prods, "Why? Did she insults you? Are you exes -- wait stupid question, you're fucking gay. Did she ever hurt you?" his questions flies rapid fire but Keith could hear the worry in the blue-eyed boy's tone.

Keith shakes his head, "No, Lance. I..." he tries to say but Lance seems to be ignoring his words.

"Or did you somehow have some rivalry with her? Is she someone you know? Did she --," okay this is getting annoying. Lance's questions are getting dumber and Keith scowls when spits starts to fly from his mouth to Keith's face.

Keith groans, "Oh my god, Lance! As much as I love you, I need you to shut the fuck up! Your spits are in my face!" he wiped his face and cheeks with his sleeve and Lance pauses stonily, as if he just see the Medusa.

"You love me?" Lance's voice cracks.

Keith paused his movements and blushes heavily when he remembers what he had said. He looks away from Lance and bites his lips. This is exactly ehat he's trying to avoid.

"Keith...," Lance leans down a bit, going to the same height as Keith, "do you mean it as a friend or ..."

Well it's not like things could get any worse. Keith just sighs defeatedly but still avoids Lance's piercing gaze, "More than friend."

Lance gasps quietly and Keith takes that as an invitation to continue, "I've liked you for a long time. Maybe a year ago. And I know that you really want to see your soulmate and that you'll love them no matter what so I kinda give up. I know you will never see me like that.

"And then a few weeks ago, you finally meet your soulmate and... she's beautiful. Ethereal, breath-taking and sweet and kind. Everything I'm not," he sighs and looks downwards, away from Lance's blue orbs, those eyes that could see right through him, "I was jealous." he admits shamefully. The tears forms from his eyes, glistening it.

"But I see your face when you see her. How happy and excited you are when you finally meet your soulmate. That jealousy turns to sadness and I..." Tears are falling from Keith's eyes and it glides easily on his cheeks, "I guess I think you're perfect with her and I tried to move on. She makes you happy and if you're happy then I'm..." Keith forces a wobbly smile and finally looks at Lance, "I'm happy."

Lance watches Keith for a moment, face unreadable as many emotions flashes on his face. Surprise, confusion, irritation, worry, and many more muddled up.

Keith continues, "So can we still be --," he gasps when a warm. calloused hand grabs his cheek and brushes his tears from his eye, wiping his cheek clean from it.

Lance looks him with a soft look, before asking him gently, "So you're not going to confess to me if I didn't come here?" his face is carefully blank and he keeps on analyzing Keith's face.

"Of course not." he bits out truthfully. Why would he?

"Why?" Lance asks insistently.

"Because she makes you happy and I only want you to be happy, Lance." Keith says softly. His pale hand made it on top of Lance's and he leans to the touch. He closes his eyes in comfort. This would be the last time he gets to touch Lance like this.

"What if...," Lance speaks breathily, "what if I told you I'm not happy with her?" he finally says.

Keith opens his eyes automatically, "What?" What is Lance saying? Is he not happy with her? But he looks so cheerful?

"I-," Lance bites his lip, looking at the ceiling, thinking how to express his feeling. Keith waits for him patiently, althought his heart his pumping loudly. "She does make me happy. It's just ..." he sighs.

"Just ...?" Keith tilted his head to one side and Lance sighs again.

"It's just that I'm not as happy as I am with you." Lance smiles nervously, moving the strands of Keith's hair behind his ear to look clearly at his face. Keith stares at Lance frozenly, as if he's seeing something unreal.

"We talked. We agreed to go on a date and it was so perfect and nice and she was beautiful as fuck. Her personality is so amazing and I should've have fun on that date but... All I can think of is you. How you would look if you were my date. Where you are right then. What you were doing. In the end Allura and I agree to just stay as friends.

"And then you ignored me for who knows how long. I didn't see you anywhere, I didn't hear anything about you from Hunk or Pidge and you didn't answer my texts. And I wanted to see you and listens to you but you keep on avoiding me and -- It hurts. It hurts like never before. That's when I realize that I actually like you. More than friends.

"And then it all kinda makes sense, the rivalry, I wanted your attetion but I don't know how so I just pulled your mullet hair everytime I see you. I was so happy when we became friends and I feel jealous whenever another person who looks interested in you gets near to you."

Keith eyes him in disbelief and stutters a half-formed words as Lance smiles at his face with determination and resolve.

"Keith, I'm not gonna say I love you because I'm not even sure myself about it and I sure as hell can't say that I liked you for a long time because I just realized it. But I'm not going to give you up just because some cosmic shit says that you're not my soulmate and I'm not yours. I don't need the universe to find me a soulmate when I have you.

"So please, please stop avoiding me and go out with me?" Lance finally stops and looks at Keith with pleading eyes. His beautiful blue eyes staring at Keith's soul and it's breathtaking.

He could see two paths going: one was where he rejected Lance, out of fear of Lance leaving him for Allura or someone better than him, and live a happy life with Lance as a friend and marry someone boring and bland.

Or he could say yes to Lance and live a weird and unsuspecting life full of wonders and familiar places and actually have a family.

So Keith throw caution to the wind and hugs the living daylight out of Lance.

"Yes."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Haha, I don't like how the fic turns out at all. If anyone really notices, I actually writes the last part first and the first one at the last because I'm an idiot like that.
> 
> Comment and kudos are appreciated!


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